Pandora Zwieback and the Blustery Day

Brooklyn Book Festival 2011! An outdoor event apparently held this year in a wind tunnel, which often required you to grab hold of the open-air tent surrounding your booth and pray you didn’t get carried off to Oz as you fought to keep a roof over your head.

So, how did it go otherwise? Read on!

Chapter 1: A Chilly Reception

It was my first time visiting this now six-year-old publishing event that continues to grow in popularity (and attendance size). Since my experience up to this point has exclusively been comic-book conventions, I was curious to see how the book-buying public would react to the arrival of a dark-fantasy publishing house in a living, breathing New York Times Book Review filled with highbrow bestsellers and the self-described “literati.”

Okay, that I wasn’t expecting. I must’ve just missed the angry townsfolk with the torches and pitchforks…  😉

All right, no big deal. So my exhibitor’s tent has been turned into trash by the 20-mph “breezes” the weathercasters had said would be blowing through the tri-state area. I can figure this out. (A note to all TV weather forecasters: a 20-mph gust is not a breeze, it’s a mini tornado. It’s like saying tomorrow will be “a little chilly” when it’s 20° F outside. Stop it, dumbasses, you’re not being witty.)

Typical New Yorker. Even Christopher freakin’ Columbus looks the other way, instead of lending a hand! But after my brother Frank jumped in to help right the ship, and a festival worker roped down a few well-placed cinder-block weights…

Okay, now we’re in business! Unfortunately these are the only photos I’ve got—Frank had work to do, and my buddy J.D. wasn’t able to attend, so there was no one around to work the camera. But I do have some amusing anecdotes for you…

Chapter 2: My First Sale

“Papi, you have to buy this for me!” the girl insisted, pointing at the Blood Feud cover.

It was about two hours into the show and I’d just explained to this girl, her friend, her dad, and her grandmother what the Pan series was about. She looked to be about 11 years old, so I wasn’t exactly sure she should be getting it—it’s marketed as being for 14 and up, and the word “asshole” pops up a few times—but Dad merely shrugged.

“She’s into horror big time, now,” he said. “She was watching Hellboy the other night.” (I’d used my patented “Ellen Page and Salma Hayek in a Hellboy movie” high-concept description, which definitely got the girl’s attention.)

“I love Hellboy!” the girl said. “Oh! And Van Helsing!”

Seriously? Well, okay, some points lost for enjoying that crapfest—I mean, Van Helsing really is a terrible movie—but every kid needs an introduction to horror, and the family-friendlier it is, the better. For me, it was the original King Kong on TV; for her, Van Helsing. She’s young; she’ll learn.

And she finally did browbeat Dad into buying copies of the book for her and her friend—even though it was Grandma who paid for them.  😀

Chapter 3: “Hey, Isn’t This Like…?”

“So what’s this about?” asked the young woman, after thumbing through a copy of Blood Feud.

“It’s a series about a sixteen-year-old girl who can see monsters, teaming up with a 400-year-old, shape-shifting monster hunter. The first two books are about a vampire war that they get caught in.” (Hang around my booth long enough, and you’ll hear that word-for-word description—or slight variations on it—every time.)

“Hey, that sounds like that other thing!”

“What?” I waited for the inevitable comparison to Buffy the Vampire Slayer—which, in most circles, has become pop-culture shorthand for anything that involves a contemporary urban setting, the supernatural, and teens, or any combination thereof. Hell, a succubus character I created was once described by a comic-book reviewer as a cross between Buffy and her vampire boyfriend Angel—even though my character had been created in 1988.

“That thing where they fight vampires and…”

Okay, here it comes. Go ahead. Tell me Pan is just like Buffy. I’m used to it.

“Oh, no, wait. I was thinking of Twilight. It sounds like that.”

Gak. The sparkly emo-vampire thing? Blood Feud sounds like that?

“Er…thanks?”

Chapter 4: “Books for Boys!”

So this old bid— er, woman slowed down in front of the tent, and her gaze moved across the table, taking in the book covers. She didn’t look pleased by what she saw—more like disgusted.

I smiled and gestured to the stack of Pandora Zwieback #0 comics. “Free comic?”

She snarled and pointed to the three titles. “Books for boys!” she practically spat out.

“Actually, they’re for girls,” I said, still being polite. Y’know, there’s just never an 11-year-old horror fangirl around when you need one to plead your case…

Not that it would have made any difference. The woman snorted angrily and moved on.

Interesting. I guess for her, girls are supposed to read only romance books. Maybe Twilight? (Y’know, my book has been compared to it.) But an action-adventure series with a Gothed-out female lead? Apparently something to be scoffed at.

Okay, lady, no free comic for you.

And then it was time to pack up and head home.

Epilogue

So overall, how was the Brooklyn Book Festival? Fairly entertaining, the many, many people I talked to were great (especially the librarians and the folks who purchased books—thanks!), and business did pick up as the day went on, but at this point a return trip next year is a question. I’ve already started making plans to attend next year’s Baltimore Comic Con, which is being held September 8–9, and the book festival may overlap that weekend. We’ll have to see.

On the other hand, if you’re a book lover then you should definitely stop by next year’s show. Admission is free, and it’s easy to get to. For more information, head over to the Brooklyn Book Festival Web site.